Esther

Esther

(2 comments, 159 posts)

Esther D. Kustanowitz is a writer and consultant living in Los Angeles.

Posts by Esther

“Jewtopia: A Review” (InterfaithFamily.com)

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The humor bounces back between more superficial, Borscht Belt-y punch-lines and deeper, “funny-because-it’s-true/sad/shameful” comedy. Jewtopia’s humor is not the flavor that might be expected from the show’s Gen-X writers, Sam Wolfson and Bryan Fogel; it’s less Jon Stewart, more Jackie Mason. Throughout the play, issues of culture and identity pop up like comic whack-a-moles, waiting to be smacked down by ludicrously loud stereotypes and high-energy punch-lines. Throughout, the intent is to portray dating in the modern age, but some audience members see the humor as self-loathing, and the characters’ choices as saying that all’s kosher in love and dating.

As I discussed the play with audience members, Suzy, raised Reform in the Midwest and a NYC-based Jewish communal worker for over a decade, noted that the main characters don’t seem to be searching to embrace another religion per se, rather, they are seeking what their own life experiences lacked. “Chris came from a military home devoid of intimacy and love, and met Jews who love their children, almost too much. Turning to Judaism is his way to connect with people in a way his family never encouraged. And Adam has had too much of that intimacy; therefore, he looks for a woman completely different than himself, that is to say, someone not Jewish,” she comments.

To read the complete review, click here.

“Frumster’s Extreme Makeover?” (Jewish Week)

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Jewish online dating service Frumster is going beyond the frum in its name:

“Unaffiliated.” “Secular.” “Synagogue=Never.” With many JDate members describing themselves with this level of observance, daters who wanted to create a Jewish future with their bashert were for a long time simply out of online dating luck. So when Frumster barreled its way onto the scene four years ago, it aimed to fill in the observance gap for frustrated online daters and create a pool of religious singles — essentially, putting the “Jewish” back in Jewish online dating.

[…] this month, Frumster announced a milestone: In four years, 500 members had met and married; by the Dec. 15 gala event celebrating the 250 couples, the number of matched members had grown to 520. Over 55 percent of those relationships had been initiated by women (or were so remembered in the “exit interviews” that Frumster conducts when members match). Sixty percent of the matches were between people older than 31. In addition to these encouraging statistics, the milestone has spurred a media push: while continuing to serve its Orthodox population, Frumster is responding to the call of the non-frum, extending memberships to all “marriage-minded” Jewish singles, and tweaking the membership process accordingly.


The rest of my new Jewish Week singles column is available here.

“Forever Friends” (Jewish Week)

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An excerpt from my new JW column, titled “Forever Friends”:

[…] It’s not that platonic, opposite-sex relationships don’t exist. But they’re complicated. Some “Forever Friends” stick around, hoping patiently that their platonic pal will someday see the romantic light, but this may turn out to be a painful mistake. “It’s like dating a man who is already taken, hoping he’ll leave her for you — it’s not the healthiest of beginnings,” says Julia, 28.

Others find comfort in the rewards of solidly platonic friendships. “Once you grow closer to someone as a friend, the love you have grows more into a sibling type of love,” says Rachel, 24, “Soon you become so attached as friends that the attraction is almost completely forgotten. You end up knowing them so well it’s impossible to ‘like’ them any longer.”

Sometimes that works. But when yearning deepens, friendship becomes impossibly painful. Unless other romances intervene or the love-stricken party accepts the impossibility of progress, feelings can continue, leading to soulful declarations met by disappointing reaffirmations with parenthetical, unvocalized caveat counterparts: “I think you’re great (but not great enough for me),” “You’re going to make someone (else) very happy,” “I don’t deserve you (I deserve someone better),” and “You know we’re better as friends (so I don’t have to tell you that I don’t think you’re all that attractive).”

Read more online, here.

“The Truth About Online Dating” (The Jewish Week)

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“The Truth About Online Dating”
The NY Jewish Week, November 24, 2005

[…] Until scientists perfect cloning (at which point most of us will likely not make the cut), online dating is one of the best ways to be “out there” without actually having to go anywhere. It also inspires individuals to craft a more honest, authentic picture of themselves. Or at least it should.

But this week brought two accusations against online dating companies. A CNN online report revealed one man’s contention that his Match.com date was “date bait” — an employee sent by the company to keep him from canceling his subscription. In a separate story, Yahoo’s personals service is accused of posting fictitious dating profiles to pad membership numbers. A Match spokesperson said that her company “absolutely does not” employ people to go on dates with subscribers or to send members misleading e-mails professing romantic interest. Yahoo had no comment at all.

For more, click here.

Change is Good…

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Anyone who’s been here — the official homepage and central PR office for Esther D. Kustanowitz — and has come back for more will notice that I’ve recently decorated the place a little bit with help from my non-local web tech team (more about them once the site goes full-on live).

In addition to the pretty, yet professional, new color scheme, I’ll continue to work on the site to provide you with:
* news about upcoming events, classes and speaking engagements
* published clips
* featured photos
* video footage
* an author biography and list of publications…and more…

In summary…change is good. And I’m talkin’ about a revolution…well, you know. I just want to change the world.

Stay with us. You won’t be sorry.

Another Word of Welcome…Plus Clips…

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You’ve found me. Even though I’ve done no PR work to promote this website–which is not quite ready to officially launch with confetti and fanfare–hundreds of you have somehow found this website. I guess the proper thing to say at this moment is “Thank you, Google…”

Anyway, for those of you who came here expecting to find clips or various other forms of Estherness, I’m pleased to present some recent articles for your hopeful enjoyment. As always, I value your input, so feel free to leave comments to let me know you were here and that you had a good time. Because that’s really all I want in life: to make sure you’re happy.

OyBaby, the Jewish answer to Baby Einstein, is back with a sequel: OyBaby2. Or, as my editor at the Jewish Week titled it, “Son of OyBaby.” (Next up, OyBaby Vs. Mothra.) If you visit the OyBaby blog, leave Rob a comment and let him know Esther sent you…

Tired of winter already? SAD? Me too. I need a vacation. So I’m “Booking a Voyage Out of Darkness.”

Marathon Sunday in New York City was sunny and warm, with temperatures reaching 68 degrees. As the marathon (an obvious metaphor for New York’s infamous rat race) ran, no one could believe it was November. But the moments of light were themselves fleet-footed; by 4:47 pm, we watched helplessly, as the sun slipped away, abandoning us to the post-daylight-saving time darkness.

In autumn and winter, it’s a literal challenge to find light. Those of us bound to a typical office environment arrive in morning light, luck out if we snag a few sunny minutes midday, and then, after disengaging from desk-side doldrums, commute home in darkness. It is no accident that winter’s holidays — Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanzaa — all center on themes and images relating to illumination. And it is no surprise that people, especially singles, might take the external darkness and internalize it emotionally.

(more…)

Stay tuned to this site for more clips, pics, and gigs…the best is yet to come…

Esther the Demon Slayer

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We all have demons to slay, lest they plague us. That’s what this site is all about.

Read my post, “Slaying My Demon: The Friend Zone,” here.

Esther’s Temporary Clips Archive

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GoodDayNY
Someday soon, an archive of my articles will be available here, in a handy-dandy, user-friendly format.

Until that day arrives, feel free to visit my “Clips” category at MyUrbanKvetch.com for links to my online articles.

Want to reprint one of my articles? Ask me (esther@estherk.com), and I’ll be happy to give you all the details about how we can get that done…

Want to book me on a TV show to talk about the Jewish holidays? I’ve done that too…have your people call my people, and we’ll talk.

Welcome to EstherK.com

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EstherK.com is the home of Esther D. Kustanowitz, writer, editor, improviser, and all-around superstar.

Stay tuned to this space for clips, news, photos and more, coming soon.

Can’t wait? Try:

My Urban Kvetch
JDaters Anonymous
Jewlicious

Hope to see you soon!

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